我最近看书看得很慢。这样一部二、三百页的书，从前是一晚的工作。现在却读了很久，主要原因是基本上没有大块的时间看书。不过我却发现我的一个新的气质--即便隔了很长时间，我仍然可以毫不费力的接着读下去，而慢慢读实在是可以读出许多味道。
Eighteen years have gone by, and still I can bring back every detail of that day in the meadow. Washed clean of summer’s dust by days of gentle rain, the mountains wore a deep, brilliant green. The October breeze set white fronds of head-tall grasses swaying. One long streak of cloud hung pasted across a dome of frozen blue. It almost hurt to look at that faroff sky. A puff of wind swept across the meadow and through her hair before it slipped into the woods to rustle branches and send back snatches of distant barking - a hazy sound that seemed to reach us from the doorway to another world. We heard no other sounds. We met no other people. We saw only two bright, red birds leap startled from the center of the meadow and dart into the woods. As we ambled along, Naoko spoke to me of wells.
Memory is a funny thing. When I was in the scene, I hardly paid it any mind. I never stopped to think of it as something that would make a lasting impression, certainly never imagined that eighteen years later I would recall it in such detail. I didn’t give a damn about the scenery that day. I was thinking about myself. I was thinking about the beautiful girl walking next to me. I was thinking about the two of us together, and then about myself again. It was the age, that time of life when every sight, every feeling, every thought came back, like a boomerang, to me. And worse, I was in love. Love with complications. Scenery was the last thing on my mind.
Now, though, that meadow scene is the first thing that comes back to me. The smell of the grass, the faint chill of the wind, the line of the hills, the barking of a dog: these are the first things, and they come with absolute clarity. I feel as if I can reach out and trace them with a fingertip. And yet, as clear as the scene may be, no one is in it. No one. Naoko is not there, and neither am I. Where could we have disappeared to? How could such a thing have happened? Everything that seemed so important back then-Naoko, and the self I was then, and the world I had then: where could they have all gone? It’s true, I can’t even bring back Naoko’s face-not right away, at least. All I’m left holding is a background, sheer scenery, with no people up front.
即使在经历过十八载沧桑的今天，我仍可真切地记起那片草地的风景。连日温馨的霏霏轻雨，将夏日的尘埃冲洗无余。片片山坡叠青泻翠，抽穗的芒草在10月金风的吹拂下蜿蜒起伏，逶迤的薄云仿佛冻僵似的紧贴着湛蓝的天壁。凝眸远望，直觉双目隐隐作痛。清风拂过草地，微微卷起 她满头秀发，旋即向杂木林吹去。树梢上的叶片簌簌低语，狗的吠声由远而近，若有若无，细微得如同从另一世界的入口处传来似的。此外便万籁俱寂了。耳畔不闻 任何声响，身边没有任何人擦过。只见两只火团样的小鸟，受惊似的从草木从中蓦然腾起，朝杂木林方向飞去。直子一边移动步履，一边向我讲述水井的故事。
记忆这东西真有些不可思议。实际身临其境的时候，几乎未曾意识到那片风景，未曾觉得它有什么撩 人情怀之处，更没想到十八年后仍历历在目。那时心里想的，只是我自己，致使我身旁相伴而行的一个漂亮姑娘，只是我与她的关系，而后又转回我自己。在那个年 龄，无论目睹什么感受什么还是思考什么，终归像回飞棒一样转回到自己身上。更何况我正怀着恋情，而那恋情又把我带到一处纷纭而微妙的境地，根本不容我有欣 赏周围风景的闲情逸致。
然而，此时此刻我脑海中首先浮现出来的，却仍是那片草地的风光：草的芬芳、风的清爽、山的曲 线、犬的吠声……接踵闯入脑海，而且那般清晰，清晰的只消一伸手便可触及。但那风景中却空无人影。谁都没有。直子没有。我也没有。我们到底消失在什么地方 了呢？为什么会发生这样的事情呢？看上去那般可贵的东西，她和当时的我以及我的世界，都遁往何处去了呢？哦，对了，就连直子的脸，遽然间也无从想起。我所 把握的，不过是空不见人的背景而已。
Death exists, not as the opposite but as a part of life.
死并非生的对立面，而作为生的一部分永存。
第五章的那封信真是很有意思的一封信。无论如何没有什么特殊的内容，可真是会有像作者写的那样想一遍一遍地读，而且有热泪盈眶的感觉。
这是玲子的信中的一段话。
My own personal feeling is that Midori sounds like a great girl. I understand just reading your letter why you would be drawn to her. And I understand, too, why you would also be drawn to Naoko. There's nothing the least bit sinful about it. Things like that happen all the time in this great big world of ours. It's like taking a boat out on a beautiful lake on a beautiful day and thinking both the sky and the lake are beautiful. So stop eating yourself up alive. Things will go where they supposed to go if you just let them take their natural course. Despite your best efforts, people are going to be hurt when it's time for them to be hurt. Life is like that. I know I sound like I'm preaching from a podium, but it's about time for you to learn to live like this. You try too hard to make life fit your way of doing things. If you don't want to spend time in an insane asylum, you have to open up a little more and let yourself go with life's natural flow. I'm just a powerless and imperfect woman, but still there are times when I think to myself how wonderful life can be! Believe me, it's true. So stop what you're doing this minute and get happy. Work are making yourself happy!
就我个人感情而言，绿子倒像是个非常可贵的女孩儿。你为她倾心这点，从信上也看得一清二楚；而你对直子的一片痴情我也了然于心。这并非任何罪过，只不过是 大千世界上司空见惯之事。在风和日丽的天气里荡舟美丽的湖面，我们会既觉得蓝天迷人，又深感湖水多娇——二者同一道理。不必那么苦恼。纵令听其自然，世事 的长河也还是要流往其应流的方向，而即使再竭尽人力，该受伤害的人也无由幸免。所谓人生便是如此。这样说未免大言不惭——你也到了差不多该学习对待人生方 式的年龄。有时候你太急于将人生纳入自己的轨道。假如你不想进精神病院，就要心胸豁达地委身于生活的河流。就连我这样最弱而不健全的女人，有时都觉得人生 是多么美好。真的！所以，你也务必加倍追求幸福，为追求幸福而努力。
这是全书的最后。
I telephoned Midori. "I have to talk to you," I said. "I have a million things to talk to you about. A million things to talk to you about. All I want in this world is you. I want to see you and talk. I want the two of us to begin everything from beginning."
Midori responded with a long, long silence - the silence of all the misty rain in the world falling on all the new-mown lawns of the world. Forehead pressed against the glass, I shut my eyes and waited. At last Midori's quiet voice broke the silence: "Where are you now?"
Where am I?
Gripping the receiver, I raised my head and turned to see what lay beyond the telephone booth. Where was I now? I had no idea. No idea at all. Where was this place? All that flashed into my eyes were the countless shapes of people walking by to nowhere. Again and again, I called out for Midori from the dead center of this place that was no place.
我给绿子打去电话，告诉她：自己无论如何都想跟她说话，有满肚子话要说，有满肚子非说不可的话。整个世界上除了她别无他求。想见她想同她说话，两人一切从头开始。
绿子在电话的另一头默然不语，久久地保持沉默，如同全世界所有细雨落在全世界所有的草坪上。这时间里，我一直合起双眼，把额头顶在电话亭玻璃上，良久，绿子用沉静的声音开口道：“你现在哪里？”
我现在哪里？
我拿着听筒扬起脸，飞快地环视电话亭四周。我现在哪里？我不知道这里是哪里，全然摸不着头脑。这里究竟是哪里？目力所及，无不是不知走去哪里的无数男男女女。我是在哪里也不是的处所连连呼唤绿子。
